things I've learned from life that I can half-assedly summarize into short quips

I know many great thinkers, leaders, etc (and others not so) make a list of general precepts, rules, or teachings regarding life. Now, I’m not anyone too special, but through my experiences I’ve come up with my own “rules of life”. That title is a bit broad and presumptuous but it sounds cool. A more apt title would probably be “things I’ve learned from life that I can half-assedly summarize into short quips”. Without further ado, in no particular order:

1. Whenever you think something is finished, it is not. Whether this is a problem you had, a task you completed, or otherwise, the moment you think its over, you can guarantee that it’ll be back, baby.
2. Tangential to #1, whenever things are going too well, they will inevitably come crashing down. The Urban Dictionary has so gracefully termed this concept as "the fuckening".
3. You get what you pay for. This one requires some intuition to apply and is subjective (then again, so are all the other items on this list), but generally it stands true. If you skimp out, you will get skimped(?) in return. If you are counting on something to be good, fork over those extra bucks.
4. Self-help books are akin to condiments. Same with any advice based on someone else’s life (which is funny, considering the list this is on). They can enhance flavor, but no ones eating salt by itself. In the end, you only learn from events you personally face. You will never learn a lesson from someone else’s advice, you might only avoid their mistake only to make a new one yourself.
5. Don’t skip class and call it “time management”. (optional)
6. External support is nice to have, but self-actualization and real satisfaction come from within.
7. Life is often unforgiving, so make sure to forgive yourself.

This is a work in progress.